Water restrictions have transformed life here in Melbourne. Unfinished glasses of water are collected in bowls. Shower run-off is collected in buckets. And thanks to what are arbitrary and annoying restrictions, plants in our garden are watered by hand four times a week (twice on Saturday and twice on Tuesday between the hours of 6am-8am and 8pm-10pm, respectively).
Now ridiculous policy aside, as I stood there at 6am yesterday with my trigger hose, it was pretty clear that all plants were not equal in my eyes. There are those plants that are clearly suffering and droopy. They get a good 30 seconds. There are those plants standing strong. They get a tocken amount of water. Then there are those I never really have liked. For instance, I hate bees in the garden, so those plants with bee attracting flowers, well, let’s say are not looking too good. I look at the smugly as I water their more favoured neighbours. “You ain’t getting any of this good stuff. Not from the guy with his finger on the trigger. You’ll have to wait for other members of the household, pink stuff!” Suffice it to say, the other members of the household are having trouble understanding why some are doing well and others are not. I guess the truth will be out now.
Will I be fired from my duties as a water sprinkler? I must admit that I often act like one out there. I sweep the spray across 5 plants slowly and then with a “chik chik chik” fly quickly back. All of us out there (me and the bees) are greatly amused by this.
No, I don’t think I will be fired. I’ll probably be subject to more monitoring, just like the children. But to my mind I really can’t see why we can’t just have a quick 30 second burst of the sprinkler system 4 times a week. Surely, it is the same water but for a fraction of the human toll. For those policy-makers with blanket restrictions in the name of ‘equality’ and ‘fairness,’ think about the flowers (and the bees, bwah ha ha)!